Secrets, What Secrets?

Day two of Diabetes Blog Week asks us about things we might keep private from the world. What about our life with diabetes would we never bring ourselves to share?

At first I laughed at this topic.  I didn’t laugh because I thought it was silly, I didn’t laugh because I thought it defeated the purpose of privacy. I laughed because, as my regular readers know, I am an open book. There are no secrets kept in me, I tell all. Right?


Um, weeeellllll…..

It occurred to me that I do have a prideful part of me that always forces me to downplay the physical pain I endure. I openly write about it by describing it in terms of, “It hurt a bit”, “It hurt”, “the pain was bad”, etc.  But I never tell the truth.

I do have a high tolerance for pain. But what people don’t understand is that a high tolerance for pain doesn’t mean we don’t feel pain as much as other people.  The pain is still there and just as bad for someone who tolerates it well as it is for someone who can’t handle it at all.

I don’t react to pain in an open and visible manner. I don’t cry, I don’t yell, I don’t pull away.  I internalize pain, I become stoic in the midst of pain.  And I rarely, if ever, admit how very much pain I am in on a daily basis.

I suffer a lot of complications of diabetes due to a lifetime of neglect. Many of these complications come with constant, near crippling, energy draining, pain.  Even with improved diabetes care, and medications to lessen the pain and control the illnesses, I am still experiencing pain every day.

If that is not motivation to encourage diabetics to take care of themselves in order to avoid complications later in life…

It hurts.



2 thoughts on “Secrets, What Secrets?”

  1. I am type 2 and let it go for at least 10 years. Now I am finally taking control of it as best I can. I take oral meds and no matter how hard I try some days my numbers are just high. And Mother’s Day I blew it big time when 2 of my kids took me to 2 different restaurants for 2 different meals and I said the hell with it. It took me all night and an extra pill to bring those numbers under 200.


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