“Fear Is How I Fall”

For many of us music is not just a form of entertainment but also a form of therapy. We use it to relax, decompress, to help us process and deal with our emotions, to keep us moving when we need to get things done, to bring us inspiration.  We all use music in some way and for a million different reasons.

I have mentioned in past posts that I tend to be one of those people who find personal meaning in music lyrics. I may know what the writer of the song wrote it about, but it also hits a deep personal chord within me, about my life. A million and one music fans out in the world do this. I’m not the only one. And musicians count on it to boost their song’s popularity.

Being a type 1 diabetic you can bet there are a lot of songs out there that speak to me about my feelings and struggles with this disease. I thought it might be interesting for me to post some of those songs here. Get ready to see a lot of ’90’s-2000’s rock/ alternative, and of course U2 included.

I’ve listed these in alphabetical order.

First is the song title, then the performer, and then key lyrics that spoke to me, and finally a video of the song.

1. Amphetamine – Everclear – “She looks like she used to be happy with the girl inside”, “She looks like she could have been happy in a better life”, “The doctors tell her everything will be alright”, “She is the saddest girl that I have ever known
Yes, she wakes me up in the middle of the night…”.

This song is about a screwed up girl with drug issues, but to me when I first heard it, all I thought was that I was Amy, and Amy was a diabetic.

2. The Animal Song – Savage Garden – “I want to live I want to run through the jungle The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet”, “I’ve been having difficulties keeping to myself Feelings and emotions better left up on the shelf”, “Sometimes this life can get you down It’s so confusing There’s so many rules to follow And I feel it”.

This song doesn’t just speak to me about diabetes, it’s a song about all the bad things in life and needing to escape them, to be free. I’ve always felt it was a feel good song with a great beat. I love the video as well!

3. Bad Blood – Ministry – Go right on ahead and look up the lyrics. This is a song that I tend to listen to when I just need to wallow in my pissiness and self-pity.  It’s a song for working through angry, frustrated times.

4. Blood – Pearl Jam – “spin me round, roll me over, fuckin’ circus, stab it down, one way needle, pulled so slowly, drains and spills, soaks the pages, fills their sponges, it’s my blood, it’s my blood, paint ed big…turn ed into…one of his enemies… it’s my blood, it’s my blood, it’s my blood, stab it down, fill the pages, suck my life out maker of my enemies… take…my… fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…”

Another song for angry times. You can see how the lyrics might speak to a diabetic.

5. Crawling – Linkin Park – Every. Single. Word. Of this song describes me to perfection when it comes to my diabetes. Look up the lyrics and you’ll know me…I know, I know, I sound like an emo kid.

6. Herr Der Schatten – E Nomine – This song is in German and Latin. It is about Satan for all intents and purposes. I like to listen to it and think of Satan as Diabetes.  It just makes me laugh a little.

7. Hurt – Nine Inch Nails/ Johnny Cash – “The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything”, “Everyone I know Goes away in the end”.

Really this entire song hits me hard. Whoever you prefer, Nine Inch Nails or Johnny Cash. It’s a deep song.

8. Leave You Far Behind – Lunatic Calm – Not many lyrics here, but they’re good. It speaks to my rebellion.  A great song for dancing/working out the bad feelings.

9. The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens – In my imagination Jungle/ village = life, Lion = Diabetes, Sleeps = good blood sugar.  A feel good song. 🙂

10. Running to Stand Still – U2 – “Sweet the sin, Bitter the taste in my mouth, I see seven towers, But I only see one way out, You got to cry without weeping, Talk without speaking, Scream without raising your voice, You know I took the poison From the poison stream”, “She is raging She is raging And the storm blows up in her eyes”.

Another song about drug addiction that speaks loudly to my emotional and psychological trauma of dealing with diabetes.

11. Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of – U2 – I’ve done a post on this song already, check it out here.

12. Sweetest Thing – U2 – This is one of those silly imagination things I do once in awhile. The song is about abusive, neglectful love.  A boy loves a girl who treats him bad. Boy = me,  girl = diabetes.  It just brings a giggle when I hear the song…but it is a very good song.

13. Times Like These – Foo Fighters – I’m sure everyone loves to listen to this song when they’re feeling a bit defeated. This song reminds me that tomorrow is a new day.  Just take it one day at a time. Original or acoustic version doesn’t matter, it’s a great song.

OK, that’s enough for now.

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Author: Tamra K. Garcia

Stephen King says to "Write what you know." I know diabetes, I know me; so this is what I write about.

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