I’m Alive

Following my thinking over the past few weeks (see posts: “Lessons” From the Past and So You Had a Bad Day, Week, Month, Life) I always go through a pattern. First stress rises and I slowly but surely become more negative in my thinking, then I become depressed and super self-destructive, then I start to think about what’s good in my life.

Without a doubt there is one thing in my life that has kept me from dying (no, I’m not suicidal, although I have seriously thought about it a couple of times) and that is my man.

I have written about how awesome he is (See posts: All Hail Lee, My Hero! and The Things We Do For Love), how much he has supported me, loved me, helped me, and always been there for me. I can’t say enough about how wonderful he is. He is my hero.

He does little things everyday like telling me and texting me that he loves me. He runs errands for me. He sacrifices time, energy, money, etc. for my medical needs. He takes the time to learn about my diabetes, medications, CGM and pump functions and sight changes. He’s saved my life countless times in the middle of the night when I had severe lows.

He does things with me that I pick to do (and yes I do things he picks, too) and actually wants to; he doesn’t do it because it’s expected of a husband, he actually wants to do things with me and enjoys it!

I do my part in supporting him; it’s not all one sided, but this post is about him, about an amazing man.

No, our life and relationship isn’t perfect, but we have each other, we love each other, we work together (although, truthfully, I feel he does more these days because of my health issues) and having each other makes all the difference in the world.

If I had to go through this life alone I’m pretty damned sure I would have died years ago, either because of lack of medical care (which I only have because of my hard working hubby) or because I would have followed through with those thoughts of suicide.

Yes, I am alive. And it is mostly thanks to my wonderful hero, my husband.


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