Let The Bodies Hit The Floor
Something’s wrong. Where am I? What time is it? Which way is up? What’s going on? Something’s wrong, need to get up. Body won’t work, so heavy. I’m low, I need help. Help! I’m going to die here, stuck here…
Beaten, Why For (Why For)?
Why me? Why anybody? Who would ask for this? Who would even wish this on their enemy? The agony of permanence, the looming of suffering and slow, slow death. The pokes, so many pokes. The constant threat of emergency. The perceived deprivation, prison. To be trapped in a broken body. Beaten without even being given the chance to fight.
Can’t Take Much More
“You’re so strong. How do you do it? You just keep going.” Everyday I wake up and lay in bed trying to decide if today is the day I just give up and don’t even try to get out of bed. Everyday I get out of bed. Don’t ask me how I do it, I have no idea where the perseverance comes from, I’m just glad it’s still there at all. Then, sometimes, I wish it wasn’t. Sometimes I wish it would all just end.
Here We Go!
Check blood sugar, bolus, pills, eat breakfast, do chores, check blood sugar, bolus, eat lunch, workout, rest, check blood sugar, bolus, eat dinner, change set, change CGM sensor, check blood sugar, bolus, pills…
One, Nothing Wrong With Me
Normal is a state of mind. Normal is what is usual for the individual. Screw societal norms.
Two, Nothing Wrong With Me
“How’s your blood sugar?” It’s fine! I’m fine. I’m fine…
Three, Nothing Wrong With Me
Worry about labs, worry about blood sugar, worry about heart, worry about carbs, worry about weight, worry about eyes, worry, worry, worry. Anxiety.
Four, Nothing Wrong With Me
Grow up being warned about, and constantly worrying about, complications. Become an adult and end up with every. single. complication. short of death itself. Well fuck.
One, Something’s Got To Give
Highs, lows, check blood, check blood, check blood…..
Two, Something’s Got To Give
Insulin, pills, insulin, pills, insulin, pills….
Three, Something’s Got To Give
Labs, doctor’s appointments, counting carbs, vigilance in every aspect of life!
It never ends!
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor
Frustration, anger. So fed up. Rage. Throwing things, screaming, hyperventilation, fall to the floor, drown in tears…
Push Me Again
No time to cry, got to keep working. No breaks, no rest for the chronically ill. No, not for us. No mercy for us. We’re cursed.
This Is The End
Haha, yeah, right. Every time I think I just can’t take any more, more piles on. And I take it.
Skin Against Skin, Blood and Bone
Not just the pancreas, it’s everywhere, inside and out, in everything; it’s all of you.
You’re All By Yourself But You’re Not Alone
It’s amazing how you can feel so alone and know you aren’t at the same time. No matter how much support you might have, they just don’t get it unless they have it, too.
You Wanted In Now You’re Here
Knowledge is power, but it doesn’t always make things easier. It’s like trying to untangle Christmas lights.
Driven By Hate
I will own you! I will control you! I will defeat you! Either that, or I will take you down with me!
Consumed By Fear
“Fear is the mind killer”