I will never not write a love post about my husband. He is my love, my life, and quite literally, my hero. It’s that time of year again, our anniversary. It’s been 19 years of wedded bliss.
I was trying to think of a new approach to telling you all about how awesome he is and how wonderful our relationship is and, of course, how very much I love him. I have written about him and us so much in the past, how can I do it from a new angle, without sounding like a broken record? I can’t not repeat how much I love him and why, but how can I repeat it with new words and descriptions? I came to the conclusion of using my current favorite love song as a prompt.
Right now I use Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol as my go-to love song because, quite frankly, it is the most basic and true depiction of love and how it feels that I have ever heard. It really hits a chord of truth within me.
Now, you might be thinking this song isn’t really a true relationship song. Maybe you’re thinking it’s a song about a guy in love but too scared to act on it (hence the term “chasing cars”). Or maybe it doesn’t touch you the same way it does me. Or maybe you just don’t ‘get’ the lyrics. The beauty of music and art is that it can mean different things to different people. Music can evoke thoughts and feelings in one person and nothing at all in another. Gary Lightbody wrote this love song not knowing exactly what it meant. Many songwriters don’t have a specific story in mind, they just feel it and write it.
Anyway, here’s what the song translates to in my mind, and how it relates to my relationship with Lee… and a bit more to fill out this love post:
We can do anything side by side. We support each other. We help each other. We work so very well as a partnership. We recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses and have organized our roles and responsibilities accordingly. And we pick up each others slack when and where needed. This is what love is. This makes a lasting relationship.
We don’t need or want anything but each other. A simple life, a simple world. As long as we have each other we have everything.
We’ve all been with someone at some time in our life- maybe it was just a moment, an evening, or maybe, like with me and my hubby, a lifetime- where you just wanted to be there, in that moment, that feeling, forever. It’s perfect, it’s right, comfortable yet overwhelmingly emotional, good emotion, joy…love. This is what love is. This is how I feel every moment of every day being with Lee. I don’t ever want it to end. Let’s just lay here, forever, and forget everything else.
There really is no way to adequately describe love. You really and truly do have to experience it for yourself. It is a pure emotion. It is also in actions, words, and in everything you do and are. It just can not ever be described satisfactorily. “Those three words are said too much, they’re not enough”. So true.
How did we fall in love? What made it happen? When did it happen? I don’t know, it just did. We always knew, really. Why does there have to be an explanation? Why do we need to be able to explain it in detail? Love happens. It is. It just is. It’s wonderful and nothing more needs to be understood.
It’s true, most of what we’re taught about love and relationships growing up is untrue, misleading, and total bullshit. I could write a book about how damaging a lot of life lessons are. It’s no wonder so many relationships fail.
I will say this, though, the best line I’ve ever heard as a description of love comes from Chasing Cars. “Show me a garden that’s bursting into life”. This is exactly what happened to me when I met Lee. He watered me, he cared for me, he loved me and I burst into life. This is love.
Another great line from the song that hits a personal note, “I need your grace to remind me to find my own”. Basically, he loves me, he wants me, he shows me I’m worth something and it teaches me to see these things in myself. And I do the same for him. This is love.
We are all of each other. Everything that we are is each other and found in each other. No, this isn’t some morbid “I belong to you, you own me and control me” bullshit, this is a love so profound and deep that we are like one person; soul mates, if you will. I couldn’t go on living without him. I’m perfectly fine with this. We are still our own people, we still have our independence. We each do our own things that the other isn’t involved with. You see, this is where so many people get it wrong. They think being in love means you can’t have your own life as well. They become controlling, they become clingy and overbearing. Jealousy, distrust, etc., begin to set in just because one partner wants to do something on their own and the other thinks that means they aren’t loved because they aren’t included. No, no, no. You can have a soul mate and still have your own lives. Try it sometime. Trust, commitment. This is love.
This is a never ending love. It sparked into life and that spark can never die. We aren’t perfect by any means. We are individuals in love. We disagree on occasion. We get on each others nerves sometimes. But no matter what, we love each other, forgive, and show each other that no matter what, we are here and not going anywhere. This is love.