Category Archives: Weed

YouTube

I fully intend on continuing to write here, I’m just a bit burnt out on it for now.

In the meantime I have been making videos on YouTube regarding all the same stuff I write about here. I have a total of three videos posted as of this post.

Check them out if you like.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3KOi-Y0gQioRcQpG17hwGw

I have the videos set to 18+, so you will probably have to log in and/or “verify” your age.

It’s My Birthday, I can talk about what I want.

I have been going through quite a change the past few weeks. I feel like I’ve almost become a new person. In reality, I am just finally able to access things within myself I couldn’t before.

I started partaking of a certain herb and, boy, has it been good for me. The herb wipes my anxiety out, lessens my depression quite a bit, and gives me energy. It also keeps my physical pain to a minimum, even when I am physically active.

I have been able to do household chores without having to take a million energy and pain breaks. I am able to feel genuinely happy. I am able to concentrate on projects. I am able to concentrate on imaginative ideas for stories, etc..

I am building back muscle strength I haven’t had in years. I have lost a bit of weight, hopefully more to go soon.

I am getting so much done!

It took me a while to find the mixtures of strains to achieve these effects, but when I did, damn, things changed a lot.

I also found a good strain to help me turn off and get the best, most restful nights sleep, ever.

I am rested and ready!

No, I am not high all the time. These beneficial effects last much longer than the high that comes with partaking. I spread it out so the effects I need are there when I need them.

Resolve

OK, guys, this one is going to be a bit different from my normal Writing While High posts. I am going into this one already a bit happy. Coming down from a smoke out, and just now ate a few gummies. So we’ll see where this goes.

It is the new year, so why not make this Writing While High prompt, Resolutions.

I really didn’t have any resolutions this year. Due to COVID-19, Sheltering-in-Place, and all, I had already been well into a workout routine, food plan, better health care of myself, mental health working, etc… thing I just decided to do one day and, thanks to Mary Jane, I can actually focus on and have the motivation and do it.

I’ve been doing better and better since I started in November.

I do not put time limits on anything. My only goal is to do better than before. I know what my agreements are and I do them, no overthinking, no monsters in my head degrading my desires and work, no procrastination. No pain. No punishment.

And it is working.

I have already started working what would have been my other resolution as well. Our house needs a lot of repair. We’ve tried and tried to get enough money together to do a big fix. It never works out. I have slowly started doing little fix-em-up projects on my own. It really feels good to even get one small thing done yourself.

I have felt a growth of confidence within myself lately, I think it also can be attributed to the partakage of the Grass. It kills my anxiety, therefore it kills the Monsters in my head that tell me I suck, I’m worthless. Without those voices I find more courage to try things and actually work to improve my skills.

Also, anxiety and depression are draining in every way. So by taking the Herb and killing the anxiety and depression, I find myself with much more energy and willingness to get things done!

A lot has changed the past six months. I am almost like a whole new person.

So, no need for resolutions. Just keep doin’ what I do.

I am thinking about giving myself a mow-hawk. I really like the idea. I’ve always wanted one so it would not only be fun, awesome, and cool, but also a bucket-list item!

I do feel genuinely happy and free. Like the whole of eternity is at my fingertips and, within the realm of possibility, I can do anything I set my mind to.

And so I no longer worry about every little grain of sand, I know life isn’t great, it’s full of pain and suffering but….I’m cool with it.

I’m all good, yo.

Like, for real, gimme some munchies, a roof over my head, and the love of my loved ones, I’m all goood.

One good thing that has come out of this pandemic is that it has forced those of us with brains in our heads to slow down. Stop and smell the flowers.

Re-prioritize.

My mind is a blank tonight.

Really, I’m dull tonight. Except that my keys seem to be floating under my fingers.

*Giggles*

I just went on a laughing fit so long and hard I almost pee’d myself.

Writing While High 2

I did this once before a few weeks back, writing a blog post while high. My readers seemed to get a laugh out of it, and I got a lot of new followers, so I thought I’d make a regular run of it.

I Ate a couple of gummies a few minutes ago and I am now going to start my blog with a writing prompt. I chose Type 1 Diabetes as my prompt for tonight since the original reason I started this blog was to discuss my T1D and reach out to other diabetics and to teach those who don’t know T1D from a cup of sugar.

So, let us begin…

Most people know that diabetes exists, but many have no idea that there are multiple types of diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is the type most people know about. Type 2 diabetes is a metabolic disorder that causes the body to not be able to make enough insulin to cover it’s needs or to not be able to use insulin efficiently (insulin resistance). Many people believe that type 2 diabetes is the patients fault, that they brought it on by eating a bad diet and/or not exercising enough. Although these things can put a person at higher risk of developing type 2, they are not the cause. Anyone can develop type 2 diabetes, even the healthiest lifestyles and most fit individuals can get type 2 diabetes. Type 2 is NOT curable, once you have it you have it for life. Yes, you can get it under such good control that you no longer have symptoms and your blood glucose level is controlled, but that is all it is, controlled, not cured. As soon as you slack off your hard work to control it you will be sorely reminded that the diabetes is still there.

Another common type of diabetes is prenatal diabetes. The only type of diabetes that is curable is prenatal diabetes. The only people who get prenatal diabetes are pregnant women. The diabetes usually goes away shortly after the pregnancy ends. Women who have prenatal diabetes are at higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes later.

Other types of diabetes are Maturity Onset Diabetes of the Young (MODY), Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults (LADA), Type 3c Diabetes, Steroid induced diabetes, Cystic Fibrosis Diabetes, Wolfram Syndrome, Alstrom Syndrome…. These are all subtypes of Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.

Then there is my type of diabetes, Type 1. T1D is an autoimmune disorder. In T1D the pancreas is not able to produce insulin. Since you know that insulin is a hormone the human body naturally produces, you can then understand that insulin is not a medicine. And seeing as you know in a T1D the body is not able to produce this hormone (not medicine) insulin whenever it is needed, that insulin injections are a therapy, NOT a cure.

T1D’s must inject or infuse insulin either several times a day (insulin injections) or 24/7 (insulin pump), we must also keep a very close eye on our blood glucose level. We do this by finger pricks and a continuous glucose monitor.

OK, guys it’s hitting me now. I really do not care to continue having to be all comprehensive and use my brain. It might explode.

*giggles*

The reality of being T1D is that it sucks, I fucking hate it. I hate having to think and remember and keep vigilant…*stop to yell at dogs to stop pissing each other off* and …and…*read sentence over a million times because I keep getting distracted*…I just hate it, I’d like to not to have to be forever worried, forever aware of things healthy (normal) people (ableds)….

You know I have been thinking a lot about wheather or not T1D is a disability. Like, the definition of disability is to not be able to…the human body/mind not able to do the job a human body/mind is supposed to. OK, my pancreas can’t do one thing it is supposed to be able to do. So, scientifically I do have a disabiliy…I am disabled.

BUT, this disability my body has does not make me unable to do anything an able body can. So, even if I am scientifically disabled, I am not LEGALLY disabled.

So be aware of your technicalities.

UGH, there I go thinking again. I want to turn my brain off for a bit.

*giggles*

Sleepy…

So many thoughts changing around in my mind…

*giggles*

*giggles*

I’m narrating again.

*giggles*

*giggles*

Everything is is so funny!!!

*giggles*

Narrating again.

“giggles*

This is going to become a cycle…

*giggles*

This is all so funny!!!

*giggles*

*go play with Tindi (dog)*

*come back*

“I’ve gotta…I’m supposed to be typeing”…

Use brain…/

Thinking hard…

“Thinking is difficult”

*giggle*

have trouble typeing…have trouble working fingers…coordination…

have trouble spelling…\

not thnking straight…

not seeing straight…

*giggles*

sleepy

dizzy…

sleepy

maybe I’ll just go to bed…after I type this

Hubby says from the other room “Who would reject Chongus?”

I giggle, this’ll be funny when I read this tomorrow.

not thinking straight

*giggles*

confused

dizzy

sleepy

ringing in ears

*giggles*

gonna have anxiety reading this sectioon tomorrow.

what’s wrong with me…oh, no…fuck not an anxiety high!!!!!

*giggles*

*laughs*

*giggles*

*snorts*

*goes on a laughing binge attack*

*giggles*

*laughs*

Damn, I have so much fun with these “writing while high” exeercises

“You OK, hun?” -hubby

*laughing*

waver at him while giggling

*giggle* I give up it’s getting hard to think to keep laughing

typeing *laugh*

You guys are missing so much I cant remeber to type

I just confused you

I’m confused

*giggling all the time*

…..

*giggle*

confused

happy but confused

LOL

*snort*

*giggle*

I feel like I’m playing a game

*giggle*

I love this

so happy

I gotta go pee

(gets up)

I just typed it calm

nope not

I’m gonna write about this later…

Next Day: I fell into a very bad high. I was very high and I was falling through eternity again. I have come to realize that my experiences with falling through eternity are most adequately explained this way, imagine having dejavu every split second, over and over again.

Hubby had my hands on his face rubbing his whiskers.

“This is real. You are here, this is real.”

“I know, OK, this is real. IT’s not real. Right here, right here.”

Time would go by slow, then jump ahead. I just knew I was going insane. I would laugh, I couldn’t get out an entire sentence before my thoughts would shift.

I would feel like I was coming out of it, but then I would shift back to narrating and then fall back into falling through eternity again.

Eventually I passed out for a couple hours, then woke up for a bit I don’t remember well. Finally I fell asleep for 20 hours straight and now here I am.

The interesting thing about bad highs is that you are terrified in the moment, but when you sober up you look back and it was actually fun. That’s IMO.

The 13th Day Of…

How was your Friday the 13th? It’s 3:46PM on the 14th right now and I am still jittery, fog-brained, depressed, and feeling like emotional shit for everything that happened last night.

And I don’t even remember last night!

Let this be a lesson to all to keep close track of what/how much you ingest when you partake of mind-altering substances. Especially if you are crossfading.

What is crossfading? That is what we call it when we are both high as a kite and drunk as fuck.

Crossfade can be the most amazingly wonderful experience, which is why so many of us work to achieve it. But when done wrong – and it is super easy to do it wrong- it can be the most petrifying experience.

The latter is what happened to me last night.

So, how did I fuck up my crossfade? Well, it is really, really stupid, but we all know I don’t shy away from taking resposibility for my stupidity, so here goes.

It all started when someone packed the Hookah. Blue Mist shisha, mixed with this secret blend of herb. This friend makes this mix that tastes like chocolate, no one knows how they manage to make this flavor, but they do and it is yummy.

We smoke. I get a mild, pleasant high. We talk for awhile, life is good.

I get the munchies and remember I have a caesar salad waiting in the fridge. I go get it and someone says, hey, try these drops in your salad, they are lemon flavored so should mix well with your dressing. I am a bit anxious but go for it. I think two or three little drops were put in. I ate my salad and promptly forgot about those drops.

Roughly two hours go by and we get ready for our Zoom meeting with friends to play our own version of Drunk History; Drunk/High/Crossfade History. I prepare and start drinking some Diet Pepsi with a couple shots of Whiskey mixed in.

The evening progresses and I grab another drink. Now we are up to fourish shots of whiskey (probably more because I’m not measuring). At some point early in the Zoom I nomed on two sativa gummies, I love a head high more than a body.

Now, remember, the Hookah has long since worn off…or so I thought, and I have long since totally forgotten I ate those drops in my salad.

The Zoom is going on. I am thinking I’m being obnoxious and annoying to my friends. I send a few non-sensical texts out to friends.

The next thing I know I am sitting on my bed, shocked at the sudden change in location. Now I am sitting on the couch saying something about needing to pee but I don’t think I can stand up or walk. Hubby suddenly appears in front of me. I say something about drink and suddenly a bottle of water pops up in front of me. Just like magic.

Poof! Water.

The evening progresses with black outs intermixed with moments of magical appearances of Hubby and water, intermixed with moments of ugly crying, just wanting people to be happy, and I don’t want to go to the hospital, check my BG, maybe I need an IV fluids…

Not once during the entire night did I stop feeling a terrifically terrifying sense of terror. A couple times I think I hallucinated ghosts in the room with us.

At some point I pass out.

I wake up several times throughout the next 12 hours, still quite high/drunk. I did not get a traditional alcohol hangover, but I do definitely have a weed hangover. I feel OK, but then I feel a twinge of panic for no reason. I sometimes feel like my reality is altered and I am going crazy.

Drinking water, and waiting for it to wear off.